Well, it looks like we're five episodes in and already they're changing up the intro on us. Here's an outdoor scene of a campus we've never looked at!
Mr. Bradley gets beats up by some girls! Blair man-handles Mrs. Garrett! Tootie's out of control on her roller-skates! Wow! Action!
Some new shots of the girls:
Hunger Games fight to the death!
Who's missing? Ms. Mahoney, for those of you keeping score at home. What will you miss the most about her? I'll miss her illuminated puffball Peter Frampton hair and intense hatred of Mr. Bradley most of all.
You'll also notice that the new intro music is veryyyy early 80s Casio-keyboard and I for one am 100 percent here for it.
In the common room, Blair is painting a picture of Sue Ann who's dressed in the world's smallest tennis outfit. We're learning more about what a fantastic artist Blair is supposed to be:
Molly Ringworm is cute! I would be the first to buy tickets for this hardcore show:
Mrs. Garrett, Tootie, and Natalie enter, the latter two with their hair full of curlers. Everyone's getting ready for Career Night, and we've learned that Tootie's dad, a high-powered lawyer, is going to speak. Tootie's getting all gussied up for him. We also learn that Natalie hates the government!
Tootie's getting all kinds of fancy for her dad when he enters. It's clear right away that Mr. Ramsey, aka Tootie's dad, is a big-big-big deal. He's eager to learn about how Tootie is doing in school, but all she wants to talk about is how Mrs. Garrett is giving her tips on getting into beauty school. Mr. Ramsey is not down with this at all, but look at his mustache! It's the biggest we've seen on this show so far!
When Tootie and Edna exit, Mr. Ramsey makes it clear that he has high standards for academic success. He calls Mrs. Garrett "a domestic" and he makes the connection to his own mother who was a housekeeper. He wants more for Tootie, and wants Mr. Bradley to keep Tootie far away from Edna. Seems difficult as Mrs. Garrett is the house mother of Eastland:
In the girls' bedroom, Tootie and Natalie are doing Sue Ann's hair. Then, they start talking about their hopes and dreams for the future. Nancy wants to be a psychologist to the stars:
Blair wants to be an artist who marries the head of General Motors:
But Molly Ringworm wants to be the CEO of GM and makes it clear that Blair is not her type. Deal with it, Blair!
Like all blonde, sensitive late-70s women, Sue Ann wants to be a marine biologist:
Baby butch Molly Ringworm busts out a woke jam! It's really good!
Tootie and Natalie don't want to go to college, they announce. They're going to start a salon called Nat and Toots or Toots and Nat and it's gonna be sick and we should all go.
Next, Mr. Bradley, like a total babyman coward, breaks the news to Mrs. Garrett that Mr. Ramsey doesn't wants Tootie to hang around her anymore, somehow.
We next get to see an awkward interaction between Tootie and Mrs. Garrett. Edna is trying to avoid Tootie, but how can she? Tootie is baffled. Why won't Edna teach her how to pluck her eyebrows?
Blair and Sue Ann make a joke about a naked horse. It sucks!
Edna, unprofessionally, confides in them about Mr. Ramsey's wishes, and she talks total smack about him just as he's walking in.
Whoops.
Mr. Ramsey tells Edna that she's just part of a larger problem at Eastland, which he does not find to be academically rigorous. He's disappointed in the work Tootie's been doing, especially in her essay, "My Future in Fingernails" which sounds great tbh. He's decided that after he does his career day talk, he's removing Tootie from Eastland.
In the girls' room, everyone's learned about Tootie's future departure. Oh look! It's Cindy! Remember Cindy?!
Me either.
We also learn that no one except for Sue Ann knows who Margaret Thatcher is, so maybe Mr. Ramsey isn't all wrong about Eastland.
Natalie gives Tootie a blonde wig to remember her by. Natalie says Tootie looks like Suzanne Somers, and Molly makes a maybe inappropriate joke about Somers and Tootie being two blondes with black roots. I think she looks like Carol Channing, who is actually Black. Also, real life Tootie aka Kim Fields is pretty much blonde all the time today.
All right, Kim Fields!
While Edna is sad that Tootie's leaving, she convinces the girls to use their wits in an attempt to get Tootie to stay.
We hear the end of Mr. Ramsey's talk, which Natalie fell asleep for because she's a total boss who does whatever she wants. Look at all these new randos in the back! I guess other students do go here:
The girls use debate team-style tactics to convince Mr. Ramsey to let Tootie to stay. They talk about her good grades, her kindness, and the prestige of Eastland. When nothing does the trick, Mrs. Garrett asks for Tootie and her dad to speak with her privately.
In her room, Tootie is sitting on her dad's lap because this is very cool and normal for a 12 year old to do with her dad:
Edna smartly reminds Mr. Ramsey that children have all kinds of dreams that they never follow through on. She had dreams of being a ballerina and a jockey as a kid, but her life went in different directions as she matured. Mr. Ramsey insists his childhood self never indulged in frivolities, but Tootie has seen pictures of him dressed up as "Buffalo Ramsey", his cowboy alter ego. Busted!
Nancy and Blair are eavesdropping at the door because they're messy bitches who live for drama.
Tootie rolls out and announces that she's staying! Yay! Like we had any doubt.
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